Traveling with Kids - 9 Weeks Beating Boredom

At week 9 I took the time to think about how long we would be in planes, buses or trains. Then I thought about if I have enough patience for all those hours in a small space with nothing for the boys to do. 

My realization? 

Definitely not enough patience. What to do about it? That was my question.
We all know our children and their personalities, likes and dislikes so this portion will need to be individualized for each family. This is what I did to help save my sanity:)

1. My children love to read, watch movies and play an occasional video game or two. I opted to purchase Kindles for them to take with us. There are all sorts of different Kindles from e-readers to mini computers.  I watched for sales and was able to get a pretty good deal. The issues here are that all content must be downloaded before leaving (movies, books, apps, games). I downloaded different movies on each Kindle so that it tripled the movies we had access to. The same thing with the books for the older kids. I was concerned that they would use their devices instead of participating with the family, but since they aren't big "gamers" I won't worry about that. This will help on the flight and bus when there isn't anything to do.

2. I want my children to remember our travels and to document it however they want. With this in mind, I went in search of the perfect travel journal. When I couldn't find anything to fit the bill I created travel smash journals for each child to keep in their backpacks. They are set up to follow our itinerary with the names of the countries, towns, and attractions we will visit. There is plenty of space for them to write, draw, tape postcards and memorabilia inside, and glue photos in. I also included several pockets in which they could place anything in. The pages are different colors and sizes and so it looks fun and it is all theirs to do with what they please. Some pages ask questions like "What is the funniest thing you saw today" or "What kind of food did you eat?" I include other things to make it enjoyable and something they could pull out and fill in on the bus. Here are the finished products:

3. I want my kids to have some immediate photos to include in these journals. My husband and I bought a polaroid camera from amazon for another project and we are bringing it along. They are about $69 to buy and film runs about $1 per picture. The photos are business card size. We will have our nicer camera with us so we don't expect these photos to be stunning, just fun. We will be carefully choosing which photos to take because of how expensive the film is.

4. I put together useful phrases in 4 languages and laminated them. This way, they can take them along and start memorizing and learning a little before we get to that country. This keeps them busy, learning and they will have an opportunity to try out each language.
Bored you say? Go and study those phrases we will be there shortly. :)

5. A must have is a travel pillow and lightweight blanket so that they can sleep as much as possible. I also bring my lavender essential oil to rub on their feet helping them sleep better. I hope this will be the most used of all my ideas because they will be rested for any adventure we may have.

Traveling with Children - Week 10 Passports and Shots

When asked where to take children when planning a European vacation, one well-known traveller said on his blog, straight to grandma's on the way to the airport. While I chuckled at this, knowing all too well why he said it, I wouldn't think about it for a second.

Time certainly flies. As my children continue to grow up I am realizing how little time I have left with them before they head out to make a life of their own. I want to give them memories, experiences and family adventures they will remember for a life-time. I want to take them with us whenever possible. My husband and I will have lots of time together in the future. For now, I want to focus on our family as we travel.

Recently several things have fallen into place for us to be able to start traveling with our children. Up to this point, the furthest from home we have been with them is Disneyland and the beach. Leaving home for a far off destination for several weeks takes more planning and thinking ahead than I am accustomed to.

I began wondering what I could do now to prepare us to have a fabulous trip. This series of posts will be a countdown in weeks to lift-off and it will include all I did to prepare my family for the adventure of a lifetime.

Let's start with 10 weeks prior to lift-off.

Passports 
Passports are one of the first things you need to get taken care of if you are planning international travel. For a family it can end up being quite expensive to get them all at once and you may need to do this over a period of time. So plan accordingly. It took my family about 6 weeks to receive our passports.

Where?
You can get a passport at a US Post Office. Not all post offices offer this service so be sure to visit 
 Where to get a passport and find a local office set up for passports.

What?
What do you need to get a passport? Here is the USPS passport site.
     2 forms of ID
     application
     payment in the form of check or cash
     passport photos 2 in. x 2 in.

Application
Every person must fill out an application. I found it was less hassle to get on line HERE and print the application out beforehand. It saved time during the process.

Cost
This will tell you what it will cost to get your passports.

Shots
Many European countries do not require additional shots for travel to and from, but if you are traveling to Africa or other third world countries chances are you will need to visit your local health department to get the recommended shots. Some countries, for instance, will not let you in if you haven't had your yellow fever shot and have proof of that shot. In fact, they will turn you away at the border and your trip will be very short-lived. 

How to know what shots I will need? Simply visit the CDC website to find out which shots you may need. 

Get a head start on these two things long before your intended travel dates. And remember that our children are only young once. Let's enjoy them and spend time with them having adventures and making memories. 

Empowerment Experience Month Three

Value of Hard Work

I overheard a groups of my son's friends talking about how in today's society they don't need to work very hard, but instead they need to think hard.

I thought this was a funny statement. As I thought about it, I realized how instantaneous everything is for them. I remember growing up and wanting to play with a friend. I had to call them on a land line and sometimes I actually got a busy signal and had to wait for someone to get off the phone. If I wanted to know information I had to take time to look it up in the encyclopedia or take a trip to the library to see what I could find and no, it was not on the computer...I had to search through library cards. Today all these things are at the touch of a finger. While it is fantastic living in the information generation, I want my boys to learn to work and enjoy the benefits of work.

Teaching kids that life is not all fun and games is a great
life lesson!

We wanted to give our boys an experience with work that differs from the daily household chores and expectations. This can sometimes be challenging when they are too young to hold a formal job. We did find that there are opportunities for them to work when we started to ask around. Few friends their age (7, 12, and 13) work. I thought this might be a sticky point for them. When they found out that they actually get paid to work it became much less of an issue (I didn't have to hear..."Mom, so-and-so doesn't have to work" to which my response is always, "I am not so-and-so's mother").

Back to job opportunities. We found summertime or fall held the best opportunity to find them each a job. We helped "employ" our 7 year old, well,.... because he is 7. The other two were able to pick up jobs at the local community recreation department as referees. My friend's children work at a scout camp while another friend's children get up early and do yard work for neighbors.

It was wonderful to see our kids have some responsibility and get the reward for the work they put in. They both loved being able to have their own spending money they had earned and we took the opportunity to talk with them about saving money, paying tithing (whenever we learn to be obedient to Heavenly Father we are always blessed significantly) and being responsible about what they choose to do with their money.

The reward for this experience was simply the paycheck they received. Nothing else was needed.

In today's society where youth feel entitled it becomes even more important for us to help our children know the reality that they will not get all they want. To teach that hard work is a character building trait that leads to financial security and a privilege we have will benefit them as well as our communities.

Empowerment Experience Month Two

Manners Month

After having such great success with the money jar and chores we moved onto manners. Why? Because we have a house full of boys. Need I say more? At some point the boys need to learn how to communicate well, speak politely, and eat in a non-vulturistic manner:)

I had such hopes going into this challenge. Our rules were fairly simple.
1. Look adults in the eye when spoken to and answer with a complete sentence.
2. Speak kindly to one another.
3. Table manners were enforced for the month. (For us that includes using forks and knives to cut food into bite sizes, feet on the floor, napkin on the lap, considerate conversation, not eating until the host/hostess sits down - boy this is tough for them, and clearing dishes when done).

The first rule was just a matter of remembering not to say uh-huh, nah, yep, etc. They did a great job in this area and learned how to speak more respectfully more often.

The second rule...speaking kindly to one another was a bit trickier. There is something about older and younger brothers and how they interact with each other. The teasing seems to be a mandatory part of everyday living and with teasing, comes the backlash of teasing. One way I tried to counter this was when they decided to be mean to each other I had them grab their scriptures and find a story about someone being mean. They need to read and tell me the result of that behavior. We then relate it to life and what that means to him. This tactic helped some, but I have to be consistent for it to work well. Needless to say, this is still a work in progress.

The last rule, table manners. I thought this would be so easy, but I was proven wrong. This is an area that I know can continue to be improved on. Simple things...eat with your utensils. Why my boys think it is so cool to eat with their hands and fingers and not cut anything is beyond me:) The noise level at dinner sometimes drives us a bit crazy. We talk about appropriate tones at dinner, not interrupting others as they speak, using napkins and such.

The prize for this challenge was to go and eat at a fancy restaurant. We failed this challenge as a family and did not get this prize. Food is a huge motivator for our boys...especially good food like sushi, steaks, etc. We are continuing to work on these things and will re-visit this challenge when we are ready to succeed.

Empowerment Experience

As an avid reader I came across a book that talked about taking the feeling of entitlement out of kids. In a nutshell, a mom decided to do an experiment in her home. She was hoping the end result would be less entitlement in her kids. As I read through her account I appreciated many things she was trying to do, but I felt I would do things different for my kids.

That is how our empowerment experience was born.

Empowering kids is teaching them that they are able to do things for themselves. It teaches them self-confidence and gives them opportunities to learn skills and to be better prepared for life. It teaches them the value of work. To realize that things won't be handed to them, rather they will need to work for them.

We are in month 2 of our empowerment experience in our home. Each month we focus on something that I have thought about and want to improve on or change in our home and attitudes.

Month One
Chores. Just the sound of the word makes me brace for the fight that is surely to follow. Chores. The word that sends children into the realm of grunting, moaning, sudden illness, begging, fighting. I can't tell you how many times I heard that so-and-so never had to do chores after school or how mean I was for making them pick up after themselves. Chores, the first thing on our empowerment trail.

We have always had chores for our children. Often times I would break down and help them (or do them) to get them done in a timely manner, to make sure they were done right or because they had so much going I felt they didn't have time. I realized that it was not okay for me to be doing this. Moms and dads...if we do this for our kids like I was, we rob them of the opportunity to know they can do it for themselves. We have to help them grow and learn rather than hold their hand the whole time and hinder them from learning the feeling of accomplishment with a good job done.

We have to first teach. Patiently teach them the correct way to do their chores. They will need to practice doing it right with positive feedback, then they can move forward with more independence.

We tried everything: kid bucks, charts with money rewards, charts with object rewards, punishments for not doing chores, magnetic chore charts, pick a chore buckets, getting mad...everything. Many things worked for several days or weeks but would eventually fizzle out. I needed to do something about this. My kids were definitely old enough to be doing their chores.

The money jar came to be.

Each of my children received a clear jar with a wide opening and a screw on lid. I stuffed each jar with 30 $1 bills. I gave them each this money up front (there were whoops of joy) along with expectations (not so many whoops). Our expectations are as follows:

1. Bed made
2. Nothing on the floor
3. No piles anywhere
4. Clothes hung up/put away
5. Bathroom floor free from clothes and towels
6. Bathroom counter cleared off

The kids were told that if they met the expectations nothing would be taken from their jars. I check their chores every morning before they leave the house. If they miss something and do not meet the expectations they lose $1 out of their jar. It is up to them to keep their chore money. 

It took one day for my child who I will call "tornado" to be on board and doing chores without me hounding. Yes, you heard me right...no hounding at all. It was a miracle! My youngest has only lost one dollar over the past 2 months. It is really incredible for me and them. I don't have to ask and ask. I simply say, "oops, you lost your dollar today." It is followed by "oh, man!" or "really?" Long gone are the comments like "not fair", or "no one else has to do this." And long gone is me losing my temper over something like chores. 

The rule is no one can touch the money until at the end of the month the money is removed from the jar and I refill it with 30 more $1 bills. It is a clean slate and they are motivated all over again. 

Our first month was a HUGE success! The tension in the home decreased and our children have begun to learn a valuable lesson about work and being self-reliant.

Roller Coaster Halloween Costume

So I am behind on my posts, but here is this year's Halloween costume. Roller coaster riders. 

I made the roller coaster out of cardboard, duct tape and pool noodles. We attached stuffed pants and shoes. the only downfall of this costume was the ability to really move around well, but they survived. 

Gratitude Activity

A Grateful Heart

As I was trying to think of something I could do to help my kids be thankful this November I came across an idea. I modified it a bit and this is what I came up with. (I did this with our young women group as well.)

 I made several of these little heart boxes. On both sides it says, "A Grateful Heart." Inside I put as many Hershey Kisses as would fit. I then told those participating that the idea is to learn to recognize and be grateful for someone when they do something nice for us. This can be done throughout the month of November, the week of Thanksgiving, or even Thanksgiving Day.

1. Recognize an act of kindness, service or likewise
2. Tell that person how much you appreciate what they have done for you
3. Present them with one of the Grateful Heart boxes and treats to show your gratitude
4. Write in your journal what that person did for you and why it touched you
5. Be quick to recognize future kindnesses and acknowledge them
6. Thank Heavenly Father for those acts of kindness towards you
7. Strive to be kind to others